A tough MIP for the winter

The 7.33 Days of C.Xmas

On the first day of C.Xmas,
mipsolver sent to me
A node-zero bound and a tiny branch-and-bound tree.

On the second day of C.Xmas,
mipsolver sent to me
two depth-first searches that dove ...,
and came back empty to a growing branch-and-bound tree.

On the third day of C.Xmas,
mipsolver sent to me
3 French-invented cuts,
2 'doves',
and a tighter bound, trimming the branch and bound tree.

On the fourth day of C.Xmas,
mipsolver sent to me
4 call-back birds,
3 French cuts,
2 doves,
and a still-infeasible branch-and-bound tree.

On the fifth day of C.Xmas,
mipsolver sent to me
5 hi-flying rounding heuristics,
4 call-back birds,
3 French cuts,
2 doves,
all tossed into a gigantic branch-and-bound tree.

On the sixth day of C.Xmas,
mipsolver sent to me
6 more goose eggs,
5 rounding heuristics,
4 call-back birds,
3 French cuts,
2 doves,
and still no incumbent in that branch-and-bound tree.

On the seventh day of C.Xmas,
mipsolver sent to me
7 types of warnings,
6 more goose eggs,
5 rounding heuristics,
4 call-back birds,
3 French cuts,
2 doves,
all mocking me from the overflowing branch-and-bound tree.

8am after my last day of C.Xmas,
manager said to me,
(this song is exponentially grating)
7 days of computing,
6 paying customers a-waiting,
5 days of test-match cricket watching,
4 P-series server-snatching,
3 more tough MIPs in your job batching,
2 minutes for u to clear your desk of every bird-dropping,
and climb that branch-and-bound tree.

Disclaimer: Purely in jest, to state the obvious. Claims of any statistically significant correlation to any real MIP solvers, real managers, real holidays, and virtually anything else that is real is just as unimaginative as this song.

Comments